oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
