Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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