If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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