How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
