I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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