I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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