peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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