We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How does it feel to date your dad?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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