I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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