i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
