if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
