The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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