Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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