I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
