The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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