once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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