Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
