grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
