Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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