I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
do herpes really smell.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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