just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
