Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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