Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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