Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
