I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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