thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
