brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
