try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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