bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
