...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
