i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
