I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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