Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
