he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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