I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
