then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
