she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
