Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
