Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
