i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
