No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
