this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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