you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
