She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
