oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
