u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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