I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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