I cockslap morals
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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