If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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