i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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