I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
